ALONE ANYWAY............
Just watch em all go...
let em all walk away
you were gonna be alone anyway
see them smile
acting so gay
you were gonna be alone anyway
you let go.
let the demons in
you were gonna be alone anyway
now youll turn from peace to sin
and the carving will begin
you were gonna be alone anyway
they all said they'd be right here
to hold you and chase away the fear
you were gonna be alone anyway
family is forever, friends are always true
where the fuck did you hear that? you must be a fool
you were gonna be alone anyway.
watch the rain fall around you
as the blood pours out
you were gonna be alone anyway
your eyes start to close as the red fades away
black is the ground and night covers day
you were gonna be alone anyway
there they are...the family you wept for
right there at the bright white door
you were gonna be alone anyway
As you walk towards them they laugh at you
Each of them walking inside until its just you two
you were gonna be alone anyway
he smiles at you and walks you way
then pulls you closer to him than ever before
you were gonna be alone anyway
he whispers in your ear....
the 5 words, your worst fear...
you were gonna be alone anyway
you feel the pull
down you go
you were gonna be alone anyway
watching him slip from your hands
you knew .....and yet you'll never understand....
you were gonna be alone anyway
now to flames you go
knowing nothing but pain and sorrow
you were gonna be alone anyway
for the words that one person whipered
were the words that haunted you every day
YOUR GONNA BE ALONE ANYWAY!!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Lies
All the times
you looked in my eyes
all those fucking lies
all the times you screamed in my face
telling me i was a disgrace
all those fucking lies
you cant seem to see
what the fuck you did to me
all those fucking lies
stringing me along
singing me those songs
all those fucking lies
you made me fall
you made me bleed
all those fucking lies
you gave me poison
to eat and breathe
all those fucking lies
to believe you loved me
impossible, you broke me
all those fucking lies
i hope you choke
i hope you die
because
of
all
those
FUCKING LIES!
you looked in my eyes
all those fucking lies
all the times you screamed in my face
telling me i was a disgrace
all those fucking lies
you cant seem to see
what the fuck you did to me
all those fucking lies
stringing me along
singing me those songs
all those fucking lies
you made me fall
you made me bleed
all those fucking lies
you gave me poison
to eat and breathe
all those fucking lies
to believe you loved me
impossible, you broke me
all those fucking lies
i hope you choke
i hope you die
because
of
all
those
FUCKING LIES!
Meh Best Friend
My Boy
Im always trying to save them
Be the knight in the dream
But I didn’t realize I needed saving
Until I met him
He had no horse
No armour of steel
Just a smile
And arms that heal.
I didn’t think he’d stay
Didn’t think it was real
Every time I hear “I love you”
My heart continues to heal
He’s my world
My life
Ill always be there for him
As his best friend for life.
Makes me laugh 24/7
I swear when im with him its Heaven
People tell me to wake up
That he doesn’t care
But I just laugh
Cuz I know he’ll always be there.
Fear turns to relief
And Hurt turns to Love
His arms fit around me
Like a healing, loving glove
Glowing and smiling
I turn to my friends
“This boy is my best one
Right till the end”
Im always trying to save them
Be the knight in the dream
But I didn’t realize I needed saving
Until I met him
He had no horse
No armour of steel
Just a smile
And arms that heal.
I didn’t think he’d stay
Didn’t think it was real
Every time I hear “I love you”
My heart continues to heal
He’s my world
My life
Ill always be there for him
As his best friend for life.
Makes me laugh 24/7
I swear when im with him its Heaven
People tell me to wake up
That he doesn’t care
But I just laugh
Cuz I know he’ll always be there.
Fear turns to relief
And Hurt turns to Love
His arms fit around me
Like a healing, loving glove
Glowing and smiling
I turn to my friends
“This boy is my best one
Right till the end”
~Promise Me That You'll Love Me Always And Forever~
♥Only You Could Make Me Believe It ♥
Gone
Gone
Watch me walk away
Save your shit for another day
Done with trying
Sick of your lying
Leaving today
Im gonna be happy my way
They love me this is true
Loving me much more than you
You cant see
What you’ve done and continue to do to me
I assure you
They will treat me right
They will be fair
Ill have no need to fight
Hugs && Kisses everyday
Chase the hurt and pain away
Bitterness will be but a dream
Love and Marshmellow cream =)
Im sorry but I must go
I’m sorry you’ve sunk so low
I’ll miss you when I walk out the door
But ill be happy cuz you cant hurt me any more.
Watch me walk away
Save your shit for another day
Done with trying
Sick of your lying
Leaving today
Im gonna be happy my way
They love me this is true
Loving me much more than you
You cant see
What you’ve done and continue to do to me
I assure you
They will treat me right
They will be fair
Ill have no need to fight
Hugs && Kisses everyday
Chase the hurt and pain away
Bitterness will be but a dream
Love and Marshmellow cream =)
Im sorry but I must go
I’m sorry you’ve sunk so low
I’ll miss you when I walk out the door
But ill be happy cuz you cant hurt me any more.
Short STory
Meh Short Story
By DeadAndBroken173 aka Snuggle Bear <33
She started screaming as the heart monitor flat lined.
She was shaking him , screaming "wake up! please please please dont leave me here"
The nurses pried her fingers from him and had security pull her out.
She stopped thrashing by the time they got to the waiting room.
She was bawling but she sucked it up.
She walked in. His 2 brothers and little sister ran to her and asked how he was.
Julia looked across the room at his mother, the one woman
on this earth that meant more to her than her own mother.
Miranda was looking back at her, and as soon as she
saw the look on Julia's face, she screamed. Cooper grabbed his wife and held her. Sobbing with her.
The kids looked at their parents, then at Julia.
"Come on guyz. We're gonna go get some ice cream"
Julia took them to the car and they piled in and buckled up.
Julia drove to Dairy Queen and bought them all large ice cream cones.
Then she drove straight to Brandon's.
She let the kids out and they quickly ran to play with her cousin's sons.
She went to the garage where Brandon was working.
He was sitting on the couch in the back listening to the radio.
She walked to him and when he caught site of her he got up and crossed the distance hurriedly .
"Whats wrong, Jules?"
Julia looked at him. The tears in her eyes said it all.
He looked down at her and he knew.
Zach was dead.
As soon as he realized she was about to lose it he grabbed her.
She started screaming, so he turned the radio up.
She thrashed at him. Started screaming profanities.
"HE'S NOT FUCKING DEAD! NO NO NO NO NO NONONO! HE CANNOT LEAVE ME HERE! HOW COULD HE LEAVE ME HERE!" She wilted in his arms and started whimpering. "How could he leave me? I loved him. Why? I dont understand what I did. Why did God take my love. Why?"
Brandon held her for an hour while she cried. Then she realized that she needed to get back to the hospital.
Brandon said he'd take care of the kids for the night.
As Julia drove back to the hospital she realized she still had his hoodie on. The realization made her cry harder.
But she sucked it up when she go to the hospital.
She went straight to his hospital room, knowing that his parents would be saying goodbye. Maybe i shouldve brought the kids she thought to herself.
She waited patiently outside the door until Miranda called her name. She walked in and hugged her mother tightly.
Cooper joined the hug and they were all shaking with sobs when Brandon knocked.
"The kids know, Jules. They want to see their brother."
Julia looked at Miranda And Cooper. Miranda thought for a moment. "We will go outside. They will come in one at a time. I think you should be with them as they say goodbye."
Julia nodded her head.
Ben came in first. All he did was kiss his brother on the forehead and walked out.
Brad came in. As soon as he saw his brother he cried harder. He hugged his brother and kissed him a few times, whispered a soft "i love you" then left.
Abby was last.
She walked in, calm as can be. She got up on the bed and lay on his shoulder.
She was crying softly.
She talked to her brother about her birthdays, her wedding, all the things he would never see. She told him not to worry. That she would help Julia with the baby. She kissed him on the mouth as she did when she was a child and got up and walked out.
Julia couldnt handle it.
She lay beside him and she wanted so to open his eyes. To see that clear blue that she always melted in.
But she knew better. She was in a dead mans arms, pregnant with his child, and all she wanted to do was die.
She cried. She cried so hard she couldnt breathe. But she wouldnt leave him. Not even when the coroner came and told her to leave. She hit him in the face 4 times before he realized that she wasnt letting go.
She fell asleep in a her dead loves arms.
When she awoke she was no longer in the hospital but in his bed at his home.
And as she sleepily snuggled closer to the warm body beside her, she knew something was tugging at her memory.
She sat up so fast she hit her head on the wall.
She looked at the man beside her and realized it was Zach.
It was all just a dream,she thought to herself,just a horrible fucking nightmare
And as she sat there, he woke up, pulled her on top of him, and said "Happy Birthday, Princess"
By DeadAndBroken173 aka Snuggle Bear <33
She started screaming as the heart monitor flat lined.
She was shaking him , screaming "wake up! please please please dont leave me here"
The nurses pried her fingers from him and had security pull her out.
She stopped thrashing by the time they got to the waiting room.
She was bawling but she sucked it up.
She walked in. His 2 brothers and little sister ran to her and asked how he was.
Julia looked across the room at his mother, the one woman
on this earth that meant more to her than her own mother.
Miranda was looking back at her, and as soon as she
saw the look on Julia's face, she screamed. Cooper grabbed his wife and held her. Sobbing with her.
The kids looked at their parents, then at Julia.
"Come on guyz. We're gonna go get some ice cream"
Julia took them to the car and they piled in and buckled up.
Julia drove to Dairy Queen and bought them all large ice cream cones.
Then she drove straight to Brandon's.
She let the kids out and they quickly ran to play with her cousin's sons.
She went to the garage where Brandon was working.
He was sitting on the couch in the back listening to the radio.
She walked to him and when he caught site of her he got up and crossed the distance hurriedly .
"Whats wrong, Jules?"
Julia looked at him. The tears in her eyes said it all.
He looked down at her and he knew.
Zach was dead.
As soon as he realized she was about to lose it he grabbed her.
She started screaming, so he turned the radio up.
She thrashed at him. Started screaming profanities.
"HE'S NOT FUCKING DEAD! NO NO NO NO NO NONONO! HE CANNOT LEAVE ME HERE! HOW COULD HE LEAVE ME HERE!" She wilted in his arms and started whimpering. "How could he leave me? I loved him. Why? I dont understand what I did. Why did God take my love. Why?"
Brandon held her for an hour while she cried. Then she realized that she needed to get back to the hospital.
Brandon said he'd take care of the kids for the night.
As Julia drove back to the hospital she realized she still had his hoodie on. The realization made her cry harder.
But she sucked it up when she go to the hospital.
She went straight to his hospital room, knowing that his parents would be saying goodbye. Maybe i shouldve brought the kids she thought to herself.
She waited patiently outside the door until Miranda called her name. She walked in and hugged her mother tightly.
Cooper joined the hug and they were all shaking with sobs when Brandon knocked.
"The kids know, Jules. They want to see their brother."
Julia looked at Miranda And Cooper. Miranda thought for a moment. "We will go outside. They will come in one at a time. I think you should be with them as they say goodbye."
Julia nodded her head.
Ben came in first. All he did was kiss his brother on the forehead and walked out.
Brad came in. As soon as he saw his brother he cried harder. He hugged his brother and kissed him a few times, whispered a soft "i love you" then left.
Abby was last.
She walked in, calm as can be. She got up on the bed and lay on his shoulder.
She was crying softly.
She talked to her brother about her birthdays, her wedding, all the things he would never see. She told him not to worry. That she would help Julia with the baby. She kissed him on the mouth as she did when she was a child and got up and walked out.
Julia couldnt handle it.
She lay beside him and she wanted so to open his eyes. To see that clear blue that she always melted in.
But she knew better. She was in a dead mans arms, pregnant with his child, and all she wanted to do was die.
She cried. She cried so hard she couldnt breathe. But she wouldnt leave him. Not even when the coroner came and told her to leave. She hit him in the face 4 times before he realized that she wasnt letting go.
She fell asleep in a her dead loves arms.
When she awoke she was no longer in the hospital but in his bed at his home.
And as she sleepily snuggled closer to the warm body beside her, she knew something was tugging at her memory.
She sat up so fast she hit her head on the wall.
She looked at the man beside her and realized it was Zach.
It was all just a dream,she thought to herself,just a horrible fucking nightmare
And as she sat there, he woke up, pulled her on top of him, and said "Happy Birthday, Princess"
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
I Died Today
watch him walk away.
feel your heart splinter
feel the ice you thought was immeltable
MELT
feel the tears rolling down your cheeks.
Feel the weakness in your knees
Hit the ground running
screaming at the top of your lungs for him to stay
just one more day
just another kiss, another hug.
But he turns to you
says "too late"
and resumes..his walking away..
You died today
feel your heart splinter
feel the ice you thought was immeltable
MELT
feel the tears rolling down your cheeks.
Feel the weakness in your knees
Hit the ground running
screaming at the top of your lungs for him to stay
just one more day
just another kiss, another hug.
But he turns to you
says "too late"
and resumes..his walking away..
You died today
Today.
Okay so.
Last night was my uncle's visitation.
And his funeral was today.
They released doves and everything.
It was beautiful.
It was hard...but beautiful.
Anyway,
Im sick. Flu or something i guess.
I more than likely wont be at school for the rest of the week.
Im just too messed up. Emotionally & Physically.
My grandpa Marvin's visitation is Friday.
His funeral Saturday.
Im hoping to the lord that i can get through it.
My grandpa and I were so much closer than my uncle and I.
And trust me, I cried buckets over my uncle.
Im hoping my best friend Chris will go with me (if my parents permit it)
If he doesnt...i dont know how im gonna deal.
Its just so hard to deal with so much death at once.
That was the last grandfather i had.
And he was such a good grandpa.
ima stop now cuz im feelin sick again.
Last night was my uncle's visitation.
And his funeral was today.
They released doves and everything.
It was beautiful.
It was hard...but beautiful.
Anyway,
Im sick. Flu or something i guess.
I more than likely wont be at school for the rest of the week.
Im just too messed up. Emotionally & Physically.
My grandpa Marvin's visitation is Friday.
His funeral Saturday.
Im hoping to the lord that i can get through it.
My grandpa and I were so much closer than my uncle and I.
And trust me, I cried buckets over my uncle.
Im hoping my best friend Chris will go with me (if my parents permit it)
If he doesnt...i dont know how im gonna deal.
Its just so hard to deal with so much death at once.
That was the last grandfather i had.
And he was such a good grandpa.
ima stop now cuz im feelin sick again.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Would You?
Would you dream of me?
Would you hold my hand & walk through fire?
Would you scream with me?
Would you follow me in my desires?
Pain is my constant companion.
Love far behind
Friends reach out to grab me.
But i stay still for i am blind
Miss you during the day
Nightmares by night
Screaming, hurting, cutting,
every day is covered in fright.
Hold me close and whisper in my ear
words of love & mysteries ill always hold dear
Ive waken up to true feelings that are real
Hopefully one day you'll do the same & we can heal
Ill dream of you until then
Love from me always friend
Would you hold my hand & walk through fire?
Would you scream with me?
Would you follow me in my desires?
Pain is my constant companion.
Love far behind
Friends reach out to grab me.
But i stay still for i am blind
Miss you during the day
Nightmares by night
Screaming, hurting, cutting,
every day is covered in fright.
Hold me close and whisper in my ear
words of love & mysteries ill always hold dear
Ive waken up to true feelings that are real
Hopefully one day you'll do the same & we can heal
Ill dream of you until then
Love from me always friend
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